


That's Not the Worst Thing

by DuchessNoir



Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, Stripping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-25 00:50:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16651123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DuchessNoir/pseuds/DuchessNoir
Summary: The search for Torch's island leads our trio into one of the many seedy cantinas on Rishi. Lana Beniko is rather surprised to discover that her Jedi companion Onoja has some unusual skills in getting closer to people while Theron Shan is left to balance jealousy and professionalism.





	That's Not the Worst Thing

Rishi was beautiful but had its eyesores. The seedy cantina Theron directed them into was certainly a blight on the tropical paradise. It assaulted every sense Lana had. Sight. Smell. Sound. All of it combined to leave a very distinct impression on the Sith and she eyed the third member of their party. For all her impressions of the Jedi, this was one place Lana felt certain Onoja was going to draw the line at.

“Think we should split up, we’re drawing some looks,” Theron murmured turning towards the women.

Discreetly Lana looked around and noticed they indeed were being watched. After all women did not come here as customers very often. If they weren’t serving drinks they typically occupied the stage. In varying stages of undress Lana observed as a busty twi’lek began gathering up clothing and tips.

More than a few patrons were indeed staring at them however. No doubt curious as to why Theron was here with two women. Lana could wager a few guesses as to the conclusions some of these customers might come to. Internally bracing herself to deflect unwanted advances in a less suspicious manner then the Sith might usually handle such affairs.

She placed a gentle hand on Onoja’s forearm and leaned in to whisper, “If you aren’t comfortable here, I do not think there’s any harm in - “

“Me? Oh, I am fine Lana. Been in worse establishments then this,” Onoja laughed taking hold of the woman’s hand warmly. Theron cleared his throat meaningfully. So she gave it a firm squeeze before releasing Lana and before the gesture excited any of the leering patrons.

“Two minutes. We’ll meet back here,” Theron instructed.

“Understood,” Lana said trying not to dwell on the idea there were places worse than this. Or what a Jedi would have done in one. That Onoja wasn’t excusing herself from this search did make the woman an even deeper mystery. From what Lana gathered so far she lived with Theron somewhat openly, and the two had been together for a number of years already. In every other way however Onoja exemplified the ideals of the Order she served. Where it came to Theron however, commitment to Jedi and their code ended. So it seemed.

This was neither time nor place for such musings. They were sharing rather cramped quarters here in Raider’s Cove after all. There would be time enough later to ask questions. Perhaps she could finally catch Theron with his guard down and glean some answers out of the man without asking a single thing.

Lana approached a few waitresses as they made their rounds. Relying more on the Force to probe minds then the actual questions she asked. Though they were not thoughtlessly posed. Carefully formed the right line of inquiry could set a target to reveal much. For a Sith who did fret over the ethics of probing a strangers thoughts of course.

Given how unhelpful the staff were, she became quickly disillusioned with the idea. When the serving girls realized Lana was not there to order drinks and tip they became more closed off. Even suspicious about the blonde’s business in a strip club.

Unhappy to rendezvous empty-handed, Lana ventured back to meet the others. Theron following along moments later. The expression on his face one of discouragement.

“Where is Onoja?” Lana asked turning to survey the crowd.

“Thought I saw her - wait,” Theron said his eyes fixed on the stage.

“Theron! Really? Now? I’m sure your girlfriend is not likely to appreciate you ogling some cheap stripper,” Lana scolded unable to hide her smile.

The spy scowled and he opened his mouth to retort but the announcer's microphone buzzed to life. Tinged with static as it came over the cheap speakers hanging around the club. Lana winced as it reached a particularly painful volume. At the same time the lights dimmed dramatically.

“Welcome to the stage Raider Cove’s newest attraction,” the voice bellowed. Drawing out the words to an increasing hum of excitement from the crowd. “Alllll the way from the Inner Core for your perverted delight!”

Beside her Theron was groaning. Hand clamped over his mouth with an air of disbelief that had Lana confused. She looked between him and the darkened figure now taking the stage. Huffing as she demanded an answer. Leaning over to put her mouth near Theron’s ear, “Will you tell me what is going on?”

“Nommi!”

The lights were flipped back on. A spotlight flooding the stage with such sudden brilliance Lana blinked and turned away slightly. Whatever song started played was drowned out by the raucous applause and cheering of roughly fifty drunken pirates.

“Oh no. No. No,” Theron moaned.

Beside him Lana gasped. Finally she recognized the figure on stage.

“But! But, she’s a Jedi,” Lana hissed at Theron. Her hand found his sleeve and gave a sharp tug. Briefly the spy glanced at her before his attention turned back to the stage. Surprising even herself Lana stamped her foot almost imperiously. “Theron! She won’t know what to do up there!”

“That’s not a problem,” Theron said sounding almost resigned.

Lana looked again. Only now noticing Onoja somehow found one of the dancers outfits and was wearing it. If such a skimpy offering of silk could be considered clothing. Perhaps the most surprising thing was the absolute sultry look upon the Jedi’s face. Though Lana generally considered herself more attracted to men she could not deny there was something radiant about the other woman at that moment.

Watching felt inappropriate, this was her friend after all. Yet Lana did not think she could look away. Except to steal an occasional glimpse of Theron who wavered between staring at his girlfriend and glaring at the men nearest them.

Absently Lana leaned nearer to inquire after the oddity of the stage name. “Why ‘nommi’?”

“On our vacation to Naboo last year. She liked the candy,” Theron replied without even looking at Lana. He frowned. “I’ll never touch the stuff again.”

Lana eyed the exit. No doubt when it came time to dance they would need to make a quick getaway. She looked wide-eyed as Onoja began to move. The hypnotic sway of her hips. Or the way she flipped her dark unbound hair.

“Didn’t Onoja grow up among the Jedi?” Lana asked in confusion.

Theron nodded. “Yes. From infancy.”

There was a frustrating lack of forthcoming information. Lana was fairly sure that no Jedi had the right to dance like, well like that. They were skilled warriors, some were at any rate. But mostly given to reflection and study. Not vice. Yet Onoja continued to flit about the stage as if she had done this sort of thing before.

The men of the bar were certainly appreciative. With every boisterous cheer Theron made a little noise at the back of his throat. Lana wondered if she should comfort the man or tell him to knock it off. Outside of her own bewilderment over Onoja’s new skills she was curious to discover exactly what the other woman’s plan was. She had the attention of every man in the place. And Onoja seemed willing to use it as well. Paying a few moments attention to one small group before twisting away seductively to linger over another.

These men would not be content with just a beautiful woman dancing. They were here to watch them disrobe. This flirtatious tease from Onoja would satisfy them only so long.

“Does she know - oh. Yes, it seems she does,” Lana said as Onoja reached up to remove her top. The unfastened first strap was greeted by a wild cheer. And Onoja seemed content to tease her audience with the promise of more. Lana was still wildly confused but mildly impressed now too. She glanced sideways at Theron, almost enjoying the man’s discomfort. “It would appear the esteemed battlemaster has picked up some unusual talents. Would that be the SIS’s influence?”

Theron gave her a flat look but made no comment.

Now Onoja was topless and unabashedly so. Like many who wielded the Force she was fit. Perhaps a bit more toned the average woman who danced here but the men weren’t complaining. Lana could see why as well.

“Do you think anyone is recording this?” Lana asked in absent tone. The way Theron’s eyes flew open it was a possibility he had not yet considered.

“Kriff sake, I’ll wager she didn’t even think of that,” Theron muttered and reached up to lightly touch the implants at his temple. It was not a suggestion Lana actually believed. But it was fun to see Theron getting further worked up by events.

For a brief second Lana found her hand drifting towards her weapon. One of Death Claw lackeys began climbing towards the stage. Reaching for the Jedi as she engaged the crowd. Body writhing with ethereal grace as her flesh was bared. Lana could not be sure Onoja had taken notice of the man’s advance. Beside her, Theron was busy scanning for nearby recording devices. Probably disabling any holocamera in a mile radius. She decided it was not wise to alert the man. And Onoja proved to have it well under control. The pirate went slack faced and sank back into his chair without another word. Empty place at the stage quickly filled by more respectful men.

Lana frowned. Respect on Rishi seemed limited to catcalls and whistles. No one was grabbing at Onoja though so the Sith settled back. Again, forced to reevaluate her opinion of the Jedi.

“I need to sit,” Theron grumbled before wheeling away. It caught Lana off-guard who rushed after the man. Watching as he awkwardly lowered himself into a chair. The way he tugged at his trousers while wearing a frown a curious gesture. Understanding dawned a moment later and Lana could not restrain the giggle. Cheeks going red as the sound escaped. Another glare from Theron who felt the need to explain. “My girlfriend is currently - stripping. On stage. You can hardly fault a guy.”

Sporting a mischievous smile Lana lifted her hands in a mock show of innocence. Theron rolled his eyes then looked around for a waitress.

As Onoja began unfastening the clasp of her skirt Lana found herself unfortunately curious. Part of her disbelieving the other woman would be willing to fully strip for the benefit of strangers. Yet cheering the Jedi on. She saw now what the plan was. Every man in this place was focused on the new dancer. Which allowed Onoja freedom to inspect the crowd at her leisure. They would find their missing Mandalorian without alerting him to the search. Finding Torch’s island would be just a matter of time now.

“Did she - ”

Blinking, Lana watched as the skirt went fluttering to the stage floor. Face burning with embarrassment she quickly averted her eyes. The now nude woman showing not a hint of shyness continued cavorting for the enthusiastic onlookers.

It was Theron who laughed now. Snatching a glass of cheap whisky from the passing tray of waitress, he tossed a credit chip onto it. Snorting before drowning the contents of the drink. “Come on Lana. Nothing you haven’t seen right?”

“That’s not. I wasn’t. It was just. She’s, she’s, she is … ”

“Didn’t expect a Jedi to be hairless? What? Expected a padawans braid maybe?”

“She’s young enough,” Lana fired back, perhaps more emotionally than intended. Onoja’s performance left her unbalanced. There was the Jedi’s unexplained talent and enthusiasm. More than that Lana had to admit she found the performance erotic. She was irritated to find herself aroused and further made angry to end up lashing out. Pointing out the near decade between Theron and Onoja did no one any good.

Theron appeared unperturbed by the comment. Sliding the empty glass onto the table before them he rested his elbows on the questionably clean surface. His eyes were on his girlfriend. Lana decided she would find an excuse to duck out tonight. Undoubtedly the couple would need some privacy after this. Inwardly Lana signed. And maybe she could find some charming smuggler lurking about one of the better cantinas to ply her with a few cocktails.

“Wish she’s told me she was planning this,” Theron added in a neutral tone.

Neither would apologize. Onoja would have made them but she otherwise occupied.

“Agreed,” Lana offered.

There was silence between them. Only the pounding music of the club to accompany the dancing of the woman on stage and a chorus of drunken, cheering pirates watching. Then, for the briefest of moments, Onoja made eye contact. Looking directly across the club with that seductive smile on her full lips. It made for a strange twinge of desire within Lana who buried it quickly.

“She found him,” Theron murmured, his eyes scanning the crowd as Onoja danced.

Confused Lana asked, “How do you know? She might not have even - ”

“I know because I know her,” Theron interrupted. He waved a hand to silence any further objections. “Now let me focus.”

Lana remained doubtful until she saw Onoja drop to her knees at the edge of the stage. The woman’s attention seemingly focused on one particular man among a sea of others. Crooking a finger to beckon their unwitting target closer. And the man, distracted by the supple body in front of him, went gladly to his feet. Wearing a ragtag assortment of armor that would not have necessarily marked him as a Mandalorian. A mercenary definitely but they were a dime a dozen on Rishi.

The man brandished a credit chip between thick, dirty fingers. Lana could see the domination from their table at the back. A light gasp escaping her before it could be stopped.

“I’ll wager you double that Onoja gives it to the first beggar she sees,” Theron quipped.

Lana shook her head.

“I think I know her well enough too not to take that bet,” she smiled.

There was a faint groan out of Theron as they watched her take the chip between her teeth. An audible sigh from the crowd nearby as the woman flashed her fan a wink that even Lana felt her stomach flutter to see. It had to be some combination of natural beauty and use of the Force the Sith decided that provoked this response. Onoja had the entire rooms attention. Only Theron proved the exception as he stood up, making a subtle adjustment of his belt as he did.

To see him suddenly stagger like he’d been drinking all day surprised Lana. She blinked, almost sure her eyes were lying to her. Yet he was lurching towards the stage as if a bottle deep. Reaching into his jacket to pull a fistful of credits out while joining his own voice to the cheers currently drowning the room.

Wanting to see how this played out, Lana remained where she was. Onoja managed to keep their target on his feet. Offering yet another tip that marked the man as either stupid with his money or stupidly well off. The miracle of the afternoon was that somehow Theron managed not to start a fight as he wove his way towards the front. Coming to stand shoulder to shoulder with the other man.

They appeared to compete for Onoja’s attention. Theron offering a substantially larger chip which prompted the target to outbid. Jedi lingering back and teasing the pair of them. It was in the final chords of the song that Theron accepted defeat and gave the man a friendly clap about his shoulder. Lana was eager to check her datapad and see if the bug just planted worked but restrained herself. Too suspicious, even in the back corner like this.

At the finish the Jedi bowed and blew a kiss unsurprisingly directed at Theron. She did not bother to gather the discarded clothing. Turning on her heel to strut naked off stage and behind the drapes.

Quietly Lana stood a few moments later. Making towards the exit where she fell in step with Theron. He nudged her as they emerged from the darkened club. Both blinking against the brightness of the day. Lana handed over her datapad and watched while Theron fiddled with it.

“Working,” Theron declared as the little blip on the screen came to life.

“Should we meet Onoja back at the safehouse?” Lana asked glancing back, startled to see the Jedi jogging after them. Thankfully wearing much more than she had the last time Lana laid eyes on her. Still her cheeks colored with the memory.

“Next time, we talk about it before you go and do something like that,” Theron immediately began.

“It worked didn’t it? Besides you would have said no after the last time,” Onoja said putting a hand on her hip.

That caught Lana’s attention and interjected on the couples disagreement. “Wait. Last time? That wasn’t the first time you’ve… danced?”

“Tatooine. And no, we aren’t talking about it,” Theron said before his girlfriend could speak. She huffed softly but did not argue. Folding her arms below her breasts instead.

“The important thing is that Onoja got us what we needed. Does the method matter?” Lana asked of Theron.

Heatedly Theron shot back, “Yes! To me it kind of does.”

“Why don’t we just get back to base then? Besides… I really need a shower after that,” Onoja sighed. 


End file.
